Authentically Nita

Relationships can be a tricky and when things start to go wrong, we’re often left feeling unsure about what to do. One of the most common questions we ask ourselves is whether we should stay or go. It’s natural to want to bail when things get tough, but is this always the right decision? Let's look at some of the reasons why you shouldn’t be too quick to get out of a relationship and how you can learn from working through the challenges. Photo by cottonbro studio It’s only natural to think that getting out of a difficult relationship will solve all our problems. However, more often than not, the opposite happens. Running away from relationship issues and getting into a new one can prevent us from truly dealing with our problems. It's like jumping from the frying pan into the fire. While starting fresh can provide temporary relief, these problems can reemerge in the new relationship. So, before jumping ship, it's important to evaluate what went wrong and what part we played

Let's face it - figuring out if he's Mr. Right or just Mr. Right Now is not always easy. We've all heard stories of women who settled down with the wrong guy and ended up heartbroken and disappointed. Hell, we might have even been that woman in our past life. So how do you know if the guy your dating is the real deal? Here are a few signs that he's a keeper!  Photo by Chermiti Mohamed Sign #1: He's got your back A man who loves you will always have your back, no matter what. He'll be there for you when times are tough, and he won't judge you for your flaws or mistakes. If he's always supportive and cheering you on, you know he's a keeper. Sign #2: He's part of your world Does he make an effort to know your friends and family? Does he take an interest in your hobbies and passions? If he's willing to be a part of your world and genuinely cares about the people and things that are important to you, that's a good sign that he's in it for

Finding love and being in a relationship makes people feel good about themselves. However, it's important to understand that being in a relationship just for the sake of it can be detrimental. Relationships are a combination of work, sacrifice, commitment, and love. If you're not careful, you might fall into the trap of getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons. Here are three wrong reasons for getting into a relationship.  You are lonely. Loneliness is a common mistake made by people when getting into a relationship. Many people seek relationships or cling to their partner out of the fear of loneliness, even if they are not being treated with respect. Being alone might seem scary, but it's imperative to realize that being in a bad relationship is worse. You must end a relationship that is not working for you, even if it means spending some time alone. Use that time to discover yourself and what you want in life. Enjoy your newfound freedom and take up hobbies that

Love, as an emotion, is one of the most complex emotions we as humans experience. It manifests itself in different forms, each with its unique characteristics. Being in love and loving someone are two of the most common expressions of love. However, despite being used interchangeably, these two concepts are different phenomena. Let's look at the differences between being in love and loving someone. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio Firstly, let us define being in love and loving someone. Being in love is an intense emotional experience characterized by feelings of euphoria, obsession, and excitement. It is often thought of as an intoxicating mix of feelings caused by attraction, infatuation, and chemistry. Loving someone, on the other hand, involves a deep emotional connection with another person, based on an appreciation for who they are, their values, and their personality traits. The primary difference between being in love and loving someone is the focus of the feelings. Being in love

Love is one of the most powerful emotions that we can experience. It can uplift us, give us inner strength and make us feel alive. However, it's not uncommon to come across people who are afraid of allowing any emotional involvement in their relationships. This fear of emotional attachment can be a destructive element, leading to an unfulfilled and lonely life.  The fear of emotional attachment often arises as a result of being hurt in past relationships. Perhaps you have been betrayed, lied to, or had your heart broken by someone you loved. It's natural to feel hurt and be cautious of future relationships. However, this fear can cause you to miss out on the possibility of true love and happiness. It's vital to learn to recognize and acknowledge these old wounds, and then seek help and counseling to help you heal and move forward. Some people may be afraid of emotional attachment because they feel at risk of being rejected, or they consider themselves unlovable. Low self-es

Breaking up with someone is hard, especially if you had a strong connection with them. While it's important to move on after a breakup, some people don't seem to get the memo. They try to stay in touch with their exes, even though the relationship is over. But the question is, why do they do it? And more importantly, why shouldn't you entertain their efforts? It's a Delaying Tactic: Men who try to stay in touch with their exes are simply delaying the inevitable. They don't want to let go completely, so they keep themselves in the picture, hoping that their exes will eventually change their minds. This tactic can delay the healing process for both parties involved, and it's not fair to either of them. The sooner you cut ties with your ex, the faster you can move on with your life. It Shows a Lack of Respect: Men who try to stay in touch with their exes don't always realize that they are not showing respect for their former partner's decision to end the r

As women, we often find ourselves drawn to men who are emotionally unavailable. It's like a magnet that we can't resist. We try to prove we're worth their attention, we want to heal them, and we believe we can change them. Unfortunately, this usually ends in frustration, heartbreak, and wasted time. The reality is that an emotionally unavailable man is one of three things: not focused on building a relationship, not healed from his last relationship, or not interested in emotionally investing in you. In this post, we'll touch on each of these reasons briefly. 1) Not focused on building a relationship - When a man is not focused on building a relationship, it means he's not ready for one. He may be at a stage in his life where he's more interested in his career, hobbies, or personal goals. He may have just ended a long-term relationship or be in the middle of a divorce. Whatever the reason, he's not in the headspace to put effort into a relationship. Some wo

Ladies, we have all been there, we have all invested into a man who couldn't appreciate us. Time is a precious commodity that never stops ticking away. It doesn't matter if you're rich, poor, young, or old, time waits for no man. As women, we often find ourselves wasting our valuable time on men who do not deserve it. Those men who are not willing to put in the effort or match our level of commitment, leaving us feeling drained and unfulfilled. We believe that if we stick around and continue to pour more into him, he will eventually turn around and see how amazing we are. But unfortunately, that's not always the case. Time waits for no man, and it's time for us to stop wasting it on someone who isn't worth it. He wasted your love, your money, and your energy, while you hoped that he would turn into someone worthy of your time. You must accept that if he hasn't gotten it together by now, he won't get it together any time soon. It's tempting to keep wa

Let's be clear - there are no perfect human beings. We all make mistakes. The human experience is full of ups and downs, learning as you go, applying what you've learned, and moving on. Sometimes we make mistakes and we get down on ourselves. We are our own worst critics after all. But we must remind ourselves, that our mistakes and imperfections don’t define us, they simply make us human. Our worth is not found in being perfect, but in knowing how to accept our flaws and how to learn, grow, and work towards becoming the best version of ourselves. It’s important to remember that even with all your flaws, you deserve respect and love from someone who truly values you for who you are. In fact, the right person in your life will recognize those imperfections and still want to love you for them. You Are Perfectly Imperfect  It’s human nature to make mistakes sometimes—we’re not perfect! But a man who values you will accept this about you without judgement or criticism. You don’t ha

Too often, we think of romance as something that only women want and need - sending flowers, holding hands, saying sweet nothings. But men want to feel connected to and loved by their partners too! Loving gestures can look different for each person but being romantic doesn't have to be complicated or expensive. Sometimes the simplest things can make all the difference in making your man feel loved and appreciated!  Photo by Keira Burton Here are six things you can do to make your man feel loved: 1. Show Interest in His Thoughts and Feelings   Men love it when the woman in their life takes an interest in their thoughts and feelings. Ask him questions about his day, his hopes and dreams, his innermost thoughts and feelings. Genuinely listen to his answers without judgement or criticism. 2. Give Him Your Undivided Attention When He's Talking It’s so easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget to show our partners that we are fully present when they talk to us. Show your man

When you're in a relationship, it's natural to have disagreements and arguments. But if your partner is consistently treating you badly, or if the relationship has become toxic, then it may be time to reassess the situation. In this blog post we'll discuss seven signs that suggest you're in a toxic relationship and provide advice on when it's time to leave. Photo by Timur Weber 1. He doesn't respect your boundaries. If your partner is constantly pushing the boundaries of what makes you feel comfortable, then this should be seen as an immediate red flag. This could mean disregarding how much physical contact you want to have, or trying to control how you spend your time and who you spend it with. 2. He insults or belittles you regularly. No one deserves to be insulted or belittled by their partners, especially not on a regular basis. If your partner is constantly putting you down or making derogatory comments about your looks or intelligence, then this is not ac

Divorce is never easy, and for many of us, it can be a particularly painful experience. When we take our vows with the intention of spending forever together, it can be difficult to accept when things don’t go as planned. It can be even more difficult to come to terms with what life looks like without that person in it. In dealing with my own divorce I found it very difficult to accept that my life was not going to be how I had envisioned it at this age. I felt let down, and that made me angry. Getting over my divorce has been a process. Not getting over my Ex, I was over him. But, getting over the disintegration of my marriage, that was a different story. To those out there who are still struggling to make peace with their divorce, this blog post is for you. Photo by Austin Guevara Grieving Your Loss When a relationship ends, even if it was the right decision and the best thing for both parties, there is still loss involved. You have spent years of your life with this person as a par

Infidelity is one of the most difficult ordeals a couple can face. If your spouse or significant other has cheated on you, you may be feeling overwhelmed by the decision of whether to stay, or leave. While there is no single answer that applies to everyone, there are some important questions you should consider before deciding what’s best. Photo by Liza Summer How Serious Was His Cheating?  The first question to ask yourself is how serious the infidelity was. Was it a one-time mistake, or was it an ongoing affair? Was it physical or emotional? Answering these questions can help you determine whether this was merely a momentary lapse in judgement or something more serious that could indicate deeper issues in the marriage. If his cheating was a one-time thing, then perhaps it’s something that can be worked through together with counseling and communication. However, if his cheating was part of an ongoing pattern, then this could be an indication of deeper problems for which counseling ma

Photo by Rahul Pandit Where's the magic? When was the last time you got up in the morning brimming with excitement, unable to keep still because of all the exuberant possibilities that the day ahead was holding for you? All those fun adventures, mischievous plans, playful projects... Kids will often experience this kind of unbearable excitement for the day ahead - for life itself. They have not yet taken on so many beliefs about life that many of us, adults, have accumulated over the years. What are your beliefs, the messages playing in your head? Tune in, look at what's there. Is it something like: life is hard; you don't get anything for free; you work hard and then you die; it's always a struggle; you have to pay your dues; you have to take things seriously; life isn't fair; my life stinks; I never get a break...? You've probably had these, or other variations of such thoughts spinning through your mind at various points - either consciously or not. And what&

Photo by: Ketut Subiyanto What makes two people compatible? Is it mutual physical attraction? Is it sex? Is it that you like the same things, like  pizza and basketball? Dictionary.com defines, 'compatibility' as the natural ability to live or work together in harmony because of well-matched characteristics." And according to Scott Petullo of Mystic Twins, "innate compatibility isn’t something you make, but something two people naturally possess." This would mean that true compatibility isn't something you can choose, and it isn't a matter of a couple working hard to make their differences bearable. Instead, true compatibility occurs naturally and you either have it, or you don't. So, how do you know if you're compatible with someone? Below is a list of six factors that exist when you and your partner are compatible. 1. You're physically attracted to each other - Physical attraction is what typically starts the connection between two people.

What to do when you're feeling confused. Photo by Felipe Cespedes Love is not a decision. Love is a feeling. The feeling is either there, or it isn't. You know from the beginning, because you feel it from the beginning. You also know if the feeling is mutual. However, what we do sometimes, is ignore the signs that tell us that despite how we feel about him, he doesn't feel the same way. We then kind of waste our own time believing that there is something there, that simply isn't. The truth is, if he loved you, you would know. There would be no confusion, and no doubt. If you find yourself in a situation where you are doubting where it's going and you're not sure if he's feels the same way about you, I recommend asking him directly, "Where is this going? Do you see us working out long term?" If he is unsure, or does not give you a direct answer, then you know what it is. You need to walk away from that situation. Before I get into why, I want to

A few months ago, I posted a question on Facebook and Instagram, What do men want? Let's take a look at the answers I received: Traditional answers: The first two responses that I received are listed below. I've heard this from a lot of men over the years, so I don't think it's anything new or surprising. These men want to lead their family and they want a woman who allows them to do that. If you ask Google, 'Should a man lead the relationship?' it will tell you, "a man's role in a relationship is to lead." Then it will list a bunch of articles about why men should lead the relationship and why you should let them. I guess it's only natural that men want to lead because society teaches us that this is the way a relationship is run. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just making the point that men want to lead because that's what they've been taught. Likewise, many women prefer that the man leads the relationship be

Dating should be exciting and fun, but for many of us it can be a little stressful. When you first start dating, you are not quite sure what the other person's expectations are. You don't know what your date will think of you when they meet you in person. You may even be a little anxious or nervous. But don't let that deter you from dating. Dating can be an exciting and rewarding stage in your life, and if you have patience, it may lead to finding someone who's just right for you.  Here are some helpful tips that may improve your dating experience:  1. Be sensible - The first two things you should do before you start dating are to evaluate your attitude and be realistic. It is important that you be realistic about what you desire and don't expect too much from a first date. You should avoid making assumptions because it could lead to disappointment. The only expectations you should have when going on a first date are that the date will go well, and that it will

Are you confused about his intentions? How do you know if he's filling time with you or taking you seriously?  There are a number of signs that will let you know if he plans to take things further, or if he's not. Here are 10 signs to give you a hint:  1. He's inconsistent - If he's not seeing you regularly or there is limited conversation, then he's not really interested in you. Inconsistency with his dates or attention shows a lack of interest.  2. He doesn't like labels - This is want guys tell you when they don't want you to be there girlfriend. Trust me, when he finds the one he wants, he will put a label on it. 3. He hasn't discussed exclusivity - If he hasn't ever brought up monogomy he's not into you. I man who is into you, is not going to want to share you and he'll discuss being exclusive.  4. He told you he doesn't want anything serious - He means with you.  5. He doesn't laugh at your jokes - Someone who is into you usual

Years ago, before I was ever married, I remember asking a friend about trust. She was already married and had been with her husband for a few years. I asked her, "How do you know you can trust him? How do you have faith in him to do the right thing? Don't you ever worry he'll cheat on you?" She told me that you don't put your faith in your husband. You have faith in God. If your husband is doing something wrong, you trust in God to make it right. That conversation has always stuck with me. The bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths." (NKV Proverbs 3:5-6). I took her words, my Bible, and six weeks of marital counseling with our pastor into my marriage. Still, after only three months, my husband was having an affair. I felt sick. I felt stupid. I felt betrayed. I was angry, and everything they told me went null and void. When y