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If He Cheats

Infidelity is one of the most difficult ordeals a couple can face. If your spouse or significant other has cheated on you, you may be feeling overwhelmed by the decision of whether to stay, or leave. While there is no single answer that applies to everyone, there are some important questions you should consider before deciding what’s best.

Photo by Liza Summer


How Serious Was His Cheating? 

The first question to ask yourself is how serious the infidelity was. Was it a one-time mistake, or was it an ongoing affair? Was it physical or emotional? Answering these questions can help you determine whether this was merely a momentary lapse in judgement or something more serious that could indicate deeper issues in the marriage. If his cheating was a one-time thing, then perhaps it’s something that can be worked through together with counseling and communication. However, if his cheating was part of an ongoing pattern, then this could be an indication of deeper problems for which counseling may not be enough.


Do You Still Love Him? 

The next question to consider is whether you still love your husband and want to make things work. Take some time to really think about how much love is left in your relationship and if it’s enough for both of you to commit to rebuilding trust and intimacy after his betrayal. Even if his cheating was just a single mistake, it will take hard work from both of you if you choose to stay together—so make sure that staying together is something that both of you are willing and ready to do. 


What Does Your Gut Tell You? 

I can't not stress the importance of intuition enough. Go off what you feel. Ultimately, this is something that only you can decide. So take some time alone with yourself, away from any outside influences like family members or friends, and get quiet so that you can listen closely to what your gut is telling you about what’s best for your future happiness and wellbeing. This inner wisdom can guide us toward answers when we’re at our most uncertain moments—so let it lead the way towards whatever decision feels right for YOU.


Dealing with a cheating partner is not easy, and deciding whether to leave, or stay, is an important decision that could change your family's life forever. It's not an easy decision, but hopefully by considering some important questions you will be able to come closer towards determining whether leaving or staying in the marriage is right for you personally. Remember that ultimately only you can decide what's best in this situation. Take some time to yourself and look for clarity. Trust your intuition and be honest about how you feel.

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