Skip to main content

How to have Casual Sex without Catching Feelings


It was a few years ago that I found myself in a months long, casual sex, situationship. I was still going through my divorce proceeding and while I never intended for it to be casual sex, I knew that I wasn't completely ready for a new relationship. I did not go into it knowing it would be casual sex. I thought the guy liked me and that maybe it could go somewhere. It didn't help that he waited until after we slept together for the first time to make it clear that sex was all he wanted. He was brutally honest at that point and I'm not going to lie, it hurt. I was left with nothing but a choice. It took about a month for me to make my decision. 

That experience taught me a lot. One thing I learned is that casual sex isn't bad. It also doesn't have to be with different random guys. You can have one casual sex partner for a long period of time as long as you have clear rules and boundaries, and always stick to them. For me, casual sex means I'm not cuddling with you and I'm not spending the night. I'm there for sex and that's it. I don't text the guy anything more than, "Hey, you wanna meet up?" or "That was so good." I don't call him at all and I end conversations quickly if he calls me. I always, always use protection. 

Here are my best tips on how to have casual sex without getting caught up in your feelings:

1. Know that this is what you want. Be real with yourself. If you are not the type to engage in casual sex, then don't do it.

2. Be honest about what you want from the beginning. Make sure the person you are involved with understands that you only want sex. Be very clear. Don't mince words. 

3. Look for people who want the same thing. If someone isn't sure what they want. Find someone else, because it can cause problems later. They may go into it thinking your feelings will change and get hurt when they don't. 

4. Establish some ground rules. You and your partner should have an understanding. Establish some rules between the two of you. 

5. Use protection and get checked regularly. Don't slip up ladies. Always use protection. Don't fall for, "I'm allergic to latex," or whatever other lame excuse men use when they don't want to wear a condom. If you end up with a partner who has an issue with condoms, find someone else. "There's plenty of dicks in the sea," or whatever my mama used to say.  It's your body, protect it!

6. Keep your conversations casual as well. Don't discuss your personal business with this man. He doesn't need to know about your kids. Stop him short when he tries to tell you about his life. In this situation you shouldn't care about his life, or his feelings.

7. Resist the urge to regularly text this person. You really don't have much to say to this person on a personal level. All you need to talk to them about is sex. And that doesn't require you to text them all damn day long. Just don't do it. 

8. Don't spend time with this person outside of having sex. Don't go one dates. Don't go strolling through the mall together. Don't hang out with friends together. You are not in a relationship. 

9. Don't expect him to act like your boyfriend. Again, you are not in a relationship. Don't start  expecting this man to do boyfriend stuff with you because you've been screwing him for six months. You're not his girl. 

10. Set your own boundaries. Aside from what I'm talking about in this post, you should have your own set of boundaries that work for you.  

11. Know when to end it. If either of you ends up in a serious relationship with someone else, it's time to end it. If either of you starts catching feelings, it's time to end it. If it starts getting messy, it's time to end it. When it is time to call it quits, let it go. Block him if you need to. 

12. Have a good time! Casual Sex is about having a good time. So just have fun and enjoy it while it lasts. 


*Photo by Ana Maria Moroz from Pexels

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How to Create a Romantic Valentine Room for Your Special Someone

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and if you're still scrambling for a way to make your significant other feel special this year, why not go the extra mile and create a romantic room for them to come home to? This doesn't have to be an expensive or complicated process, in fact, it can be done on a budget with a little creativity. In this blog post, we'll go over the steps to create a truly special romantic space for your special someone, and show you how easy it is to bring a little extra love to your Valentine's Day this year. Step one: Start by ordering a Valentine Balloon kit from Amazon ahead of time. This will give you a head start on decorating your space with some fun Valentine's Day decor without having to run around town trying to find the perfect decorations. The balloons in these kits usually come in red, pink, and white, and have messages such as "I Love You" and "Be Mine" printed on them. You can choose different sizes,...

Proof that You Were NOT the Problem

Have you ever gone through a breakup where your former partner made you feel like you were the problem? You analyzed every interaction, replayed every conversation in your head, wondering where you went wrong. Yet you just can't figure it out. Well what if I told you that the reason you can't figure it out is because you did nothing wrong. And the proof that you did nothing wrong is in him STILL contacting you? If he's doing any of these things ladies, you were NOT the problem. Casual Contact, Hidden Intentions: The Subtle Approach: He reaches out with seemingly innocuous texts or social media interactions. The Real Motive: He's keeping the door open, hoping you'll reciprocate his feelings. The Respectful Response: He needs to respect your boundaries and let you move on. Social Media Stalking: The Digital Obsession: He's constantly monitoring your stories and posts. The Underlying Desire: He's still invested in your life and wants to be a part of it. The ...

7 Steps to Boost Your Credit Score and Improve Your Financial Standing

Building a good credit score is a crucial step towards financial stability, helping you secure loans, credit cards, and other financial benefits. It influences your mortgage rates, auto loan premiums, and even job opportunities. Conversely, a low credit score can limit your access to credit and increase your loan costs. If you're looking to raise or improve your credit score, there are steps you can take to improve it. In this blog post, we'll discuss seven steps to help boost your credit score. Review your credit report The first step to improving your credit score is to review your credit report. Obtaining a copy of your report from Equifax, Experian, or TransUnion every year is free of charge. Look for discrepancies or errors and dispute them. These errors can hurt your credit score, and it's essential to correct them early. Pay bills on time It's essential to pay all your bills, including credit card payments, loan installments, and utility bills, on time. Late paym...

STOP Recycling Men: Here's Why You Deserve Better!

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship with a man who keeps revisiting his past, unable to detach from his old ways? Do you often feel like you're with someone who is not truly committed to growing and evolving themselves? If so, then it's time to put an end to it. Ladies, stop recycling men! Recycling is when you take an old, outdated thing, and make a new use of it. You deserve a man who is continually evolving and reinventing himself—a man who is letting go of his past, his soul ties, and his youthful mindset.  In this post, we'll explore why you deserve better and how to avoid the pitfalls of recycling men who are stuck in their old ways. You deserve a man who is ready and willing to create a completely new version of himself. Someone who is committed to shedding his old ways, letting go of soul ties, and breaking free from younger mentalities. Recycled men often come with baggage that prevents them from truly growing and evolving. And if you're with someone...

Valentine's Day - 5 Gift Ideas for Him

Hey ladies, Valentine's Day is just around the corner and while it's supposed to be a day of love, a lot of times it ends up being all about us. This is the one holiday that can seem a bit one-sided. So let me remind you; men want to feel loved and appreciated too! You don't have to go all-out with grand gestures, but here are five great gift ideas that will make Valentine's Day feel special for him too! 1. Buy, or pre-order a game he has been wanting, or get him a gift card. This is going to tell him two things. The first thing it will tell him is that you are paying attention to his interests. The second is that you put thought and effort into his gift. If your man is not a video gamer, then get him a gift card to his favorite place. This could be anything from a coffee shop he visits every morning, to a gift card for playing golf. It's all about showing you pay attention and you care. 2. Plan a day out doing something he loves Valentine's Day doesn't have...

Dating After 40: How To Approach It Differently

Age is just a number, and you're never too old to find love. But let's be real: dating after 40 can be a bit daunting. If you're single and dating in your 40s, you know that your patience, intuition, and emotional needs have changed over time, and so should your dating approach. It's important to take a step back and reevaluate your priorities before jumping back into the dating scene. Here are some tips on how to approach dating after 40. Create A List Of Priorities And Deal Breakers Before starting to look for a partner, make sure you have a clear idea of what you're looking for. Take some time to think about your priorities in a relationship. What are the qualities you want in a partner? What are your deal breakers? Things like being a cat or dog person, smoking preferences, or having kids can be important factors that determine the compatibility with a potential partner. Having a clear idea of what you want from a relationship will help you navigate the dating s...

Dating After 40: Why You Deserve a Man Who's Done the Work

Women in their 40s should have a different outlook on dating than those in their younger years. As we age, our priorities should change. What once seemed like an exciting project or a new endeavor may now feel like a waste of time. We reach a point where we no longer have time for "projects." And that includes men who don't have their shit together. A man must be stable, both financially and emotionally. We've invested time and energy building ourselves up and we deserve a partner who has done the same.  Once you reach a certain age, you can no longer afford to invest your time and energy into someone who isn't on the same page as you.  You've spent years working on yourself and improving your life. You've invested time and money into your education, career, and personal growth. You've learned the importance of taking care of your physical and mental health. So why should you settle for a man who hasn't done the same? A man who has done the work is...

A Weak Man Hates Anything that Challenges Him to Be Better

We all come across weak men who blame others for their shortcomings. These men struggle with accountability and reject anything that challenges them to be better. In essence, they are narcissistic and self-centered. It is not easy to deal with such men, especially if you are in a relationship with them. Weak men often have fragile egos, and anything that threatens their fragile sense of self is perceived as a threat. We have to understand that these men are not secure within themselves, and they rely on external validation to feel good about themselves. Therefore, when you try to challenge them to be better, they feel like you are attacking them, and they become defensive. They cannot handle criticism, and they struggle with personal growth. One of the reasons why weak men struggle with personal growth is that they are afraid of change. They are comfortable in their current ways, and they are not willing to step out of their comfort zones. They fear the unknown, and they do not want to...