Skip to main content

Six tips to Cope with Divorce and move forward


Life after Divorce is difficult. You vowed to be with one another for eternity and someone broke that vow. You may feel betrayed and confused. You are not alone. It is okay to hurt. It is okay to cry. But, eventually, you will have to pick yourself up. You will have to come to terms with detaching from your spouse and becoming whole within yourself. Divorce is not the end of your life but rather, it is a new beginning.


This is going to take some time. It could potentially take weeks or months to move nearer to reality. Take as much time as you need. Heal at your own pace. Here are some things to consider while going through the process:

Don't dwell on unanswered questions

So many things may be running through your mind; Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? How did we get here? You may never get all the answers. Don't dwell on it. Move forward in comfort knowing that everything happens for a reason. 

Forgive Yourself

It's easy to look at divorce as failure. People break-up all the time. Just because your marriage didn't work out doesn't mean you're the one to blame. Try to zoom out and look at the marriage as a whole. Think about the big things and small things. You will probably see that it wasn't going to work out no matter what you did or didn't do. 

Look for the Silver Linings

If you always felt a little guilty going out to dinner with your friends while your husband had to work, you officially don't have to worry about that anymore. There are probably a few other things you couldn't or wouldn't want to do that are now fully available to you.

Build on Your Little Victories

Shoot for one little thing each day that can prove you're making progress in your life. For example, read a chapter of a book you've been meaning to read for years. Pick a delicious recipe and cook something you love every day. Start a new hobby. Write out a new business plan. Finish a puzzle. No matter how small it is, accomplishing something you set out to do feels pretty darn good. 

Go to Therapy

Therapy will help you work through the issues you are dealing with as a result of your divorce. You will probably feel angry, bitter, and/or sad. You may be frustrated and financially burdened. Working through this in therapy can be beneficial. If you are parents, and your spouse or ex-spouse is willing to attend therapy with you, it would be beneficial to your children to do this. This will hopefully lead to a smoother transition, and better co-parenting. It is probably a good idea to start therapy on your own so that you can work through your feelings, and then start divorce therapy with your spouse or ex-spouse.

Don't do it Alone

When you're feeling low and empty, putting on an outfit and being social may sound like the last thing you want to do, but try to force yourself to stay involved with the people you love. Keeping busy helps more than you'd think. Being around other people helps you get out of your own head and offers you a little bit of a break from the emotional abuse you may be forcing on yourself.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Blurred Lines

Do you know what it's like to lay in someone's arms and feel completely empty? To have their body wrapped around yours, naked, skin touching, breathe on your neck, arms holding you so tight it feels as if they were meant to never let you go. I lose myself in the forehead kisses and the brushing of my hair behind my ears. In the soft whispers and the morning smiles. I lose myself most of the time. But sometimes, I just lay there wrapped in his naked body wondering if he holds everyone like this. Wondering why I keep coming back. Knowing, that I'll come back again.  *Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Nine Easy to use Apps for Small Cash Advances

Photo by Yan Krukov   Cash Advance apps offer people the ability to borrow small amounts of money in the form of cash advances. Some may have additional features, such as credit-building, saving and budgeting tools, and bank accounts. Most require a monthly membership fee and/or service fees that will be deducted from your account at the same time as your advance repayment. You will need to have a bank account with direct deposit from your employer in order to use these apps. Here is a list of nine, no hassle, Cash Advance apps you can use to get from pay check to pay check. Before I list them, I want to advise against using these apps unless it is an emergency. These should only be used every once in a while. If you are having problems getting from paycheck to paycheck, there is likely a bigger issue at hand. I recommend going over your income and expenses and watching your spending, or getting a second job. Click here for the budgeting app that I use and how it

Trust

Years ago, before I was ever married, I remember asking a friend about trust. She was already married and had been with her husband for a few years. I asked her, "How do you know you can trust him? How do you have faith in him to do the right thing? Don't you ever worry he'll cheat on you?" She told me that you don't put your faith in your husband. You have faith in God. If your husband is doing something wrong, you trust in God to make it right. That conversation has always stuck with me. The bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths." (NKV Proverbs 3:5-6). I took her words, my Bible, and six weeks of marital counseling with our pastor into my marriage. Still, after only three months, my husband was having an affair. I felt sick. I felt stupid. I felt betrayed. I was angry, and everything they told me went null and void. When y