Skip to main content

Are You an Enabler?

When we care about someone, it’s natural to want to help them through difficult times. However, sometimes our attempts to support our loved ones can backfire and lead to enabling behaviors. Enabling means that we are inadvertently supporting unhealthy habits, patterns, and behaviors in someone else. It is a complicated term that might trigger some mixed reactions, but it’s important to understand its meaning and how it might be affecting our relationships.

Photo by Alex Green

Enabling is not a term that we hear every day, but it’s essential to know what it means and how it can affect our lives and those around us. Enabling occurs when we provide support that helps unhealthy behaviors continue. Let’s say someone battles alcohol addiction, and we make excuses for their drinking habits or loan them money to buy alcohol instead of setting firm boundaries. We have enabled their addiction to continue.

Sometimes, we enable others unconsciously and without realizing it. Enabling behaviors can stem from empathy or our need to help others. In some situations, they are linked to codependency traits. It’s essential to learn how to recognize these behaviors so you can stop them in their tracks.

Here are some signs that you might be engaging in enabling behaviors:

  • Making excuses for someone else's unhealthy patterns or behaviors
  • Ignoring your own needs and putting someone else’s needs first
  • Avoiding conflict and suppressing your feelings to keep the peace
  • Taking on more responsibility than someone else
  • Lending financial support, even when it’s not in the other person’s best interests
  • Feeling resentment towards someone, but not being able to set boundaries or enforce consequences for their actions.

If you recognize some of these behaviors in yourself, it’s time to start making changes.

Managing enabling behavior can be challenging, but it’s necessary to promote healthy relationships with our loved ones. The first step to managing enabling behavior is to recognize it and acknowledge that it exists. Once you’ve identified the behaviors and the triggers, you can then set firm boundaries, like limiting contact or refusing to enable someone’s negative patterns.

Another step that you can take to manage enabling behavior is to seek professional help. Mental health professionals can help you identify the root causes of your enabling behaviors and provide you with tools, strategies, and support to break free from these unhealthy patterns.

Enabling is a complex topic that affects many people. It can be challenging to recognize enabling behaviors in ourselves, and even more challenging to change them. However, we all have the power to break the cycle of enabling. By identifying the root causes of our enabling behaviors and setting firm boundaries, we can promote healthy relationships with our loved ones. Let’s all strive to support our loved ones in a healthy and positive way, without enabling negative behaviors.


Popular posts from this blog

How to Cheat without Getting Caught (What I've Learned from Men)

I remember being cheated on. I remember catching him red handed and listening as he denied the whole thing. I remember wondering if the other woman knew he was married. Odds are, she probably did. I didn't understand it and the truth is, I didn't need to. I just needed to remove myself from the situation. My ex was careless in his cheating. After my experience I began watching how men & women cheat. Cousins, friends, co-workers - it seems that everyone has a "Sneaky Link" or a "Secret Bae." And although the memes would have you thinking otherwise, it's not cute. But still, it's interesting. So here are some of the best tips I've learned on how to cheat without getting caught:  1. Let the person you are cheating with know that you are already married, or in a relationship. Have this conversation with the person from the beginning so they know their role, and so that you can establish boundaries. Be clear that you will not be leaving your spou

126 Forgotten Survival Foods That You Should Add to Your Stockpile

“The Lost Superfoods” contains all the forgotten survival foods and storage hacks that saved countless lives throughout human history. Click here to add them to your own pantry These are the real foods you should add to your pantry instead of “plastic” and expensive ones. Discover the Lost Superfoods that could save your life during the next crisis Like the “Doomsday Ration,” our own U.S government secretly developed to make sure we won the Cold War. Or the superfood that fueled the greatest Mongol conquests of Genghis Khan. This massive 271-page book is choke-full of inexpensive and long-lasting survival foods and preservation methods you won’t read or hear about anywhere else. Over 100 to be more exact. You’ll get all the recipes in minute detail with photos guiding you each step of the way. With these lost superfoods in your pantry, you’ll be able to keep your family well-fed during the darkest of times. Click here to find out the 100 Superfoods that we’ve lost to history

The 10 Biggest Signs that He's Just Not Into You

Are you confused about his intentions? How do you know if he's filling time with you or taking you seriously?  There are a number of signs that will let you know if he plans to take things further, or if he's not. Here are 10 signs to give you a hint:  1. He's inconsistent - If he's not seeing you regularly or there is limited conversation, then he's not really interested in you. Inconsistency with his dates or attention shows a lack of interest.  2. He doesn't like labels - This is want guys tell you when they don't want you to be there girlfriend. Trust me, when he finds the one he wants, he will put a label on it. 3. He hasn't discussed exclusivity - If he hasn't ever brought up monogomy he's not into you. I man who is into you, is not going to want to share you and he'll discuss being exclusive.  4. He told you he doesn't want anything serious - He means with you.  5. He doesn't laugh at your jokes - Someone who is into you usual