I remember being cheated on. I remember catching him red handed and listening as he denied the whole thing. I remember wondering if the other woman knew he was married. Odds are, she probably did. I didn't understand it and the truth is, I didn't need to. I just needed to remove myself from the situation. My ex was careless in his cheating. After my experience I began watching how men & women cheat. Cousins, friends, co-workers - it seems that everyone has a "Sneaky Link" or a "Secret Bae." And although the memes would have you thinking otherwise, it's not cute. But still, it's interesting. So here are some of the best tips I've learned on how to cheat without getting caught:
1. Let the person you are cheating with know that you are already married, or in a relationship. Have this conversation with the person from the beginning so they know their role, and so that you can establish boundaries. Be clear that you will not be leaving your spouse or significant other for them. This type of upfront honesty will help prevent a lot of confusion. Leave it up to them if they want to proceed or not.
2. If you are married or living with someone, don't cheat with someone who is single. I recommend this especially for married people. You need to cheat with someone who has as much to lose as you. It minimizes the risk of them approaching your spouse or significant other for fear that it would be revealed to their spouse and/or family.
3. Don't tell anyone. Don't tell your friends. Don't tell your best cousin, or your brother. This needs to be kept from everyone. Telling someone could risk it being revealed through gossip or someone just feeling like you're wrong and telling your spouse.
4. Don't shift from your normal routine. Do not start engaging in behaviors that you wouldn't normally do because you're cheating. For example, if you don't normally stay out after 11pm, don't start doing it. Figure out a way to see this person without a noticeable change in your behavior or habits.
5. Delete everything. Delete texts, photos, videos and anything else in your phone that has to do with the person you're having an affair with. I know some of us like to keep our texts and photos for memories or to look back at them. You don't need any of that stuff. Just delete it.
6. Don't start "acting new." In other words, don't start treating your spouse or significant other bad because you're having sexual relations with someone else. What you have with that other person is not real. Changing your behavior with your spouse looks and feels suspicious. Do the opposite instead. Tell them how much you love them, still take them out, still go on vacation and still post photos of you together.
7. Lie & deny. If your spouse or significant other is getting suspicious and confronts you; deny it. Unless you are caught in the act, deny it. Text messages? Deny it. Comments? Deny it. Voicemail? Deny it. Photos? Might be tricky, but try saying some of the things men say like, "That bitch is lying!" "She's crazy." "She's trying to break us up." "She set me up." "That's an old picture." "That's not me." - Don't fold. Don't admit it.
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