Domestic Violence Awareness month

This month is Domestic Abuse Awareness month. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States. As a former victim of Domestic Abuse I feel strongly about getting the word out and letting women know that they are not alone in their battle. I will be posting poetry, information and stories about Domestic Abuse. I will also share bits and pieces of my own story.

When I experienced this, it seemed that there were stages I went through in dealing with him and the abuse. I remember when the abuse first started and I didn't want to tell anyone because I was embarrassed. The first time he ever really left a mark on me was in the Spring of 2001. Our daughter was a few months old. He punched me in my eye and it turned black and blue and the side of my face was swollen. I didn't want to go to work with my face messed up because I was a Bank Teller and my customers were regulars. I didn't want to deal with anyone asking questions. Make-up would not help so I decided to call-out from work for a few days. I sat on the side of my bed for a long time thinking of what I would tell my boss (this was the morning after). I was going to tell her that the baby was sick or that I caught the flu or something. Every time I tried to dial the number, I would get emotional and I couldn't hold it together. I was crying because I was hurt. I was angry and I was ashamed that I let myself get into this screwed up situation. At the same time I was thinking that I couldn't even afford to miss work for a few days. I had just come back from Maternity Leave.

As it turned out, I did a 'No Call, No Show' and lost my job. I didn't go anywhere or see anyone until my face was practically healed. Then I went to my mom's house one day. When she asked about the small scar by my eye I told her he accidentally elbowed me when we were in bed. This stage, of trying to lie, deny and hide the abuse, lasted a long time.

When I look back at it now, I wish someone had called me out on it. I wish someone would have told me to stop lying. Eventually someone would, but it wasn't until almost two years later.