Authentically Nita

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Years ago, before I was ever married, I remember asking a friend about trust. She was already married and had been with her husband for a few years. I asked her, "How do you know you can trust him? How do you have faith in him to do the right thing? Don't you ever worry he'll cheat on you?" She told me that you don't put your faith in your husband. You have faith in God. If your husband is doing something wrong, you trust in God to make it right. That conversation has always stuck with me. The bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths." (NKV Proverbs 3:5-6). I took her words, my Bible, and six weeks of marital counseling with our pastor into my marriage. Still, after only three months, my husband was having an affair. I felt sick. I felt stupid. I felt betrayed. I was angry, and everything they told me went null and void. When y

We live in a society where finding the "perfect" romantic partner is highly valued. From social media to movies to television we are bombarded with messages about what love should look like, what we should expect from our relationships, and what it implies if our relationship does not meet those standards. Reality looks different from those love stories that we see and hear all around us. However, most people still go into a relationship with a preconceived idea about how they’ll be treated. Usually our expectations are positive and hopeful. But social media specifically, can contribute to unhealthy comparison and unrealistic expectations for what a relationship is supposed to be like. Your relationship won't meet your expectations if your expectations are unrealistic.   In most relationships we expect honesty, trust, affection, loyalty, kindness, and respect. These are realistic expectations and the foundation of a healthy relationship. Having standards isn't wrong.

Cheating is a self-serving act. No one benefits from cheating except the cheater, and maybe the person they are cheating with. It doesn't matter what the underlying reason is that leads to the act of cheating, ultimately, people cheat because they are selfish. I say this because cheating is a choice, and the cheater chooses to cheat rather than find another way to deal with their issues. Scientific America published an article titled, Why Do People in Relationships Cheat? The article looks at a completed study on why people decide to cheat. 495 people were recruited and participated in the study. An analysis of the study revealed eight key reasons that lead to cheating: anger, self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and situation or circumstance. These "reasons" or feelings are not uncommon in relationships and most people have, or will experience them. I look at the reasons listed in this study as the motivation behind the che

So you've been seeing this really great guy. You have the same sense of humor. You have a lot in common. You enjoy being around him and you're together all the time. He even calls you baby and gives you kisses on your forehead. Only problem is, he hasn't introduced you to his friends or family yet. He doesn't post you on his social media. He rushes you off the phone when he's around other people. Why is he hiding you? When you ask him he might tell you that he's a private person, that he doesn't like people in his business, or that he's not ready to "go public." This is not a good sign. There is a clear difference between a low-key relationship and keeping you a secret. Any relationship that has to be hidden is a problem.  Here are a few reasons he may be keeping you a secret (and none of them are good). 1. He's married or has another girlfriend This is the number one reason for a man to keep his relationship with you under wraps. Chances a

  He left his phone.  There it is, sitting on the kitchen counter, the night stand or the bathroom sink. You've been questioning so many things lately and all of your answers are right there in that little device. What should you do? My suggestion is wait for him to come back and give him his phone. It most likely has a passcode on it. Trying it too many times will lock the phone and he'll know you were trying to snoop. But, what if there is no passcode? Should you go through his phone? I am going to say no. It is not a good idea to go snooping through your man's phone. Before you do it you should consider the following: 1. Snooping through his phone is an invasion of his privacy. Every individual deserves some level of privacy. Even when they are in a relationship. I'm pretty sure you have messages in your phone to family members or friends that you wouldn't want him to read. Not because you're cheating, but because you're talking shit or the other person

Intuition is what we call it. A Woman's Intuition to be exact. It tells us, "something ain't right." You don't have proof, but you feel it. You're probably not wrong. We know when something's up, and while we may not have hard evidence, there are common signs that tell us a man is cheating. If you believe your partner is cheating I recommend keeping a behavior journal. I know, I know, it sounds a little crazy, but hear me out. I am about to list a bunch of common signs of a cheating spouse. You should keep track of which behaviors your partner displays. Most of these signs are circumstantial evidence, but if you establish a continued pattern of behavior that looks like cheating, then it probably is. Going over your journal entries will help you determine if he's really cheating. Now, if you're married, and your spouse is doing more than one of these, and your journal is looking like he's definitely cheating, you might want to hire a profession

I remember being cheated on. I remember catching him red handed and listening as he denied the whole thing. I remember wondering if the other woman knew he was married. Odds are, she probably did. I didn't understand it and the truth is, I didn't need to. I just needed to remove myself from the situation. My ex was careless in his cheating. After my experience I began watching how men & women cheat. Cousins, friends, co-workers - it seems that everyone has a "Sneaky Link" or a "Secret Bae." And although the memes would have you thinking otherwise, it's not cute. But still, it's interesting. So here are some of the best tips I've learned on how to cheat without getting caught:  1. Let the person you are cheating with know that you are already married, or in a relationship. Have this conversation with the person from the beginning so they know their role, and so that you can establish boundaries. Be clear that you will not be leaving your spou

Top 5 things to remember to speed tax return processing and avoid delays! 1. For an accurate return, collect all documents before preparing your tax return. In addition to collecting W-2s, Form 1099s and other income-related statements, it is important people have their advance Child Tax Credit and Economic Impact Payment information on hand when filing. 2. File an accurate return and use e-file and direct deposit to avoid delays. Taxpayers should electronically file and choose direct deposit. 3. Use online resources before calling the IRS. Phone demand on IRS assistance lines remains at record highs. To avoid lengthy delays, the IRS urges people to use IRS.gov to get answers to tax questions, check a refund status or pay taxes. 4. In order to validate and successfully submit an electronically filed tax return to the IRS, taxpayers need their Adjusted Gross Income, or AGI, from their most recent tax return. For those waiting on their 2020 tax return to be processed, enter $0 for l

  We've all probably seen our share of messy break-ups online, in our friend circles or within our family. I think I have personally had a good three messy break-ups though none have been as messy as my divorce. We constantly argued. We kept taking each other's calls. We posted on social media. We talked to each other's friends/family members about the other person. We blocked and unblocked each other. There was so much drama and it lasted for a long time. I've learned from my mistakes and while I know there is no way to guarantee a smooth break-up I've compiled a list of what I think will help reduce your chances of having a messy break-up. 1.  Make sure its what you really want. 2. Think about what you're going to say. 3. Don't play the blame game! 4. Be brutally honest. 5. Understand that you cannot control the other person's reaction. 6. Do not post about it on social media. 7. Do not have conversations with your ex about what went wrong and if you c

  I do not regret my divorce. I believe wholeheartedly that it was necessary. However, if I could have avoided it, I would have. I think it's best for people to explore other options before getting divorced. You can try marital counseling, taking time apart, or even an open marriage. If there is no abuse in the home, divorce should be your last option. Here's why: 1. It's ugly - You may start off thinking you and your ex would never engage in crazy, toxic behavior. Then at some point you get hit by negative angry emotions from your Ex. Emotions will be high. Expect conflict. 2. It hurts - Even when it’s necessary, divorce still hurts. You're walking away from something you spent years building, and that's not easy. It hurts both spouses and it hurts the children. 3. It takes time - Divorce is usually a long process. Even when both parties agree to the divorce, and there’s nothing to fight over, it can still end up being a 1 - 2 year process. 4. Divorce doesn't e

Do you know what it's like to lay in someone's arms and feel completely empty? To have their body wrapped around yours, naked, skin touching, breathe on your neck, arms holding you so tight it feels as if they were meant to never let you go. I lose myself in the forehead kisses and the brushing of my hair behind my ears. In the soft whispers and the morning smiles. I lose myself most of the time. But sometimes, I just lay there wrapped in his naked body wondering if he holds everyone like this. Wondering why I keep coming back. Knowing, that I'll come back again.  *Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

It was a few years ago that I found myself in a months long, casual sex, situationship. I was still going through my divorce proceeding and while I never intended for it to be casual sex, I knew that I wasn't completely ready for a new relationship. I did not go into it knowing it would be casual sex. I thought the guy liked me and that maybe it could go somewhere. It didn't help that he waited until after we slept together for the first time to make it clear that sex was all he wanted. He was brutally honest at that point and I'm not going to lie, it hurt. I was left with nothing but a choice. It took about a month for me to make my decision.  That experience taught me a lot. One thing I learned is that casual sex isn't bad. It also doesn't have to be with different random guys. You can have one casual sex partner for a long period of time as long as you have clear rules and boundaries, and always stick to them. For me, casual sex means I'm not cuddling with yo

If you're not already budgeting, you should start now. Budgeting can be a great way to keep track of your family's expenditures and evaluate where you spend the most money.  What is a budget?  A budget is an estimate of how much money you’ll make and spend over a certain period of time, (usually a month). A budget will tell you if you can spend less money on some things and more money on other things. It will help you manage your funds to ensure there is enough money for paying bills and living expenses. It can also help you get out of debt, and create a plan for  saving.  Follow these six simple steps to create a budget:  1.  Gather three months of your pay stubs and get your average monthly earnings. 2.  Get out your bills for fixed expenses such as rent, phone bill, car payments and other loans that come monthly. 3.  Take out three months of your credit card bills. Add them up and get the average. 4. Create a list of your monthly living expenses such as groceries, clothing,

Life after Divorce is difficult. You vowed to be with one another for eternity and someone broke that vow. You may feel betrayed and confused. You are not alone. It is okay to hurt. It is okay to cry. But, eventually, you will have to pick yourself up. You will have to come to terms with detaching from your spouse and becoming whole within yourself. Divorce is not the end of your life but rather, it is a new beginning. This is going to take some time. It could potentially take weeks or months to move nearer to reality. Take as much time as you need. Heal at your own pace. Here are some things to consider while going through the process: Don't dwell on unanswered questions So many things may be running through your mind; Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? How did we get here? You may never get all the answers. Don't dwell on it. Move forward in comfort knowing that everything happens for a reason.  Forgive Yourself It's easy to look at divorce as failure. People

I want encourage everyone to use this portal and keep your contact information updated.  IRS.gov Online Account It can be used for a number of the things including the following: Viewing your balance Viewing and creating payment plans Accessing tax records Managing communication preferences Viewing notices and letters For 2022, one of the most significant uses of this portal will be for individuals to securely access their child tax credit payment amounts and/or to access their economic impact payment amounts.   The IRS will mail out forms 6419 and 6475 with this information but if you do not get the form in the mail this is another way to access the information. 

Three key items from the IRS that you should consider when filing your taxes in 2022.  1. Changes to the charitable contribution deduction Taxpayers who don't itemize deductions may still qualify to take a deduction for charitable contributions made in 2021 to qualifying organizations. Married taxpayers filing jointly can deduct up to $600, and all other filers can deduct up to $300.  2. Advance child tax credit payments If you received the advance child tax credit payments in 2021, you will need to compare the amount of payments you received in 2021 with the amount of the child tax credit that you can properly claim. If you received less than the amount for which you are eligible you can claim a credit for the remaining amount. If you did not get the monthly advance payments in 2021 you can get a lump-sum payment by claiming the child tax credit when filing your  return. This includes families who don't normally need to file a return. Note : In January 2022, the IRS will send

Everyone deserves a chance to build credit! Whether you’re establishing credit for the first time, or building towards the score you want you can do that with a Capital One Platinum Card. This is the exact card I got when I began working on my credit after my divorce.  See if you're pre-approved in less than 60 seconds with no impact to your credit score by using my referral link: Capital One Platinum card

There are many methods of facial hair removal available to the consumer. IPL facial hair removal offers long-term hair reduction but cannot target light, fine hair. Waxing facial hair removal can cause skin irritation along with ingrown hairs and is only a short term method. There are also trimming devices for facial hair removal which can cause skin irritation and require retreatment every few days. This list is not exhaustive; there are many more methods of facial hair removal; some of them quite dubious and seemingly offering the consumer miracles. Electrolysis is recommended as the best facial hair removal method as it is the only medically approved method of permanent best hair removal for unwanted facial hair, FACT. Electrolysis for permanent hair removal can only be performed by highly skilled and trained practitioners. These practitioners are encouraged to regularly review their skills and take refresher courses. They have the tactile skill on par with aesthetic surgeons. Disco

Summer is gone- and gone are the chlorine, sun over-drying, saltwater and all the other issues that summer brings with it. At a first glance, you can breath in relief- your hair is safe now, ready to be shinny, fluid and as gorgeous as ever. But don't haste! If you thought summer to be your worst enemy, you haven't met winter yet. A moment of silence please- do you remember the frizz, the tangle, dandruff, oil excess? Yes, they can happen in the winter too- and hey, some of us know that winter can be even worse than summer. If in the summer your hair is mostly lacking it's moisture, winter brings twice as many problems- plus the fact that hairstyles have no chance in front of the cruel snow. While summer is known for causing hair damage, winter is your secret enemy. If you're looking for ways to keep you hair healthy and good-looking in the winter, then read on- we're listing the top hair problems winter is producing and listing the solutions for maintaining the per